“You should be happy, I just gave you $7 million worth of business!” My prospective new partner exclaimed with inebriated exuberance. I’ve partnered with several Realtors from a variety of different brokerages over the years on all sorts of transactions.
“The money doesn’t matter to me.’ I told her straight up, turned my back, and as I walked away she tried to say in a sexy voice, ‘You’re hot, you’re so hot.” She was drunk, I’m pretty much not hot at all. And the way she said it, sounding like someone about to fall off a bar stool, was super sad, not sexy.
The next day she apologized for her behavior but that was the second day in a row I had seen her and both times she was obviously drinking before I arrived, drank during our business meetings and likely well after I left. Ten years ago I knew her and she had been a heavy drinker then. She called me to partner with her on a series of multi million dollar deals because she was incapable of practicing real estate sales on her own, much less coherent thought.
Her brain is wet and her short-term memory is shot as a result. I believe her brain is damaged. She has a liver swollen beer gut. It’s become a medical issue and she told me she takes meds for seizures. I know another chronic alcoholic who get seizures, it’s not uncommon when you are near your bottom or death.
I walked out of our listing appointment early. She had repeated herself five different times to the client and finally he had to tell her, “Shut up!” in a most stern tone, which was surprising to hear from an elderly gentleman. They had known each other for a long time so naturally he opened a bottle of wine for her when we arrived. Neither the client nor I drank and when I politely declined because I’ve chosen not to drink for many years she said, “You’re an alcoholic!” Three times to me, and each time I insisted I’m not. Really I’m not but if I was an alcoholic it wouldn’t be anything to be ashamed of. I’d having no issue admitting it.
At one point during the listing appointment my potential new partner sobbed the tears of a barstool drunk. She yelled at me in a drunken outburst which is when I got up to go. It had been the biggest shit show of a listing appointment I’d ever been on. It was a $2 million house. I’ve got a daughter in college and another one going soon. This woman has another $5 million listing she wants me to partner up on plus several more in the hopper. I could use the money and I’m willing to do most things to provide a college education for my daughters.
The next morning the agent apologized via text and asked me if I wanted to meet. She promised she wouldn’t drink. What did I do? What would you do? I did exactly what my 16 year old self would have done. I told her I was very disturbed by her behavior, mentioning the brain damage from the alcohol abuse and telling her she was going to die if she didn’t go to rehab. I then blocked her number and contacted her broker. I told him exactly what had happened. My hope is that his organization will do the right thing and tell her she can’t practice real estate if she doesn’t go to rehab. Could this be her bottom?
You can only help an alcoholic if they want to be helped, and that’s most often when they hit rock bottom. I don’t think she’s ready, she's still got a lot to lose. In the end I can’t say I didn’t do the right thing. I’ll admit the money was tempting. I could have just done all the work and put her in the background, using her connections. She’s a very well connected alcoholic. The bottom line was that I just couldn’t do it because she needs medical help and I hope her broker can help her get it.
For a schedule of upcoming Marin AA meetings please go to: http://www.aamarin.org/meetings/
For support family and friends of alcoholics please check into the Marin NA meetings: http://www.marinal-anon.org/pages/meetings.php